McCoy: Your pulse is two hundred and forty-two. Your blood pressure is practically non-existent. Assuming you call that green stuff in your veins blood…
Spock: The readings are perfectly normal for me, Doctor, thank you. And as for my anatomy being different from yours, I am delighted.
Sulu: We’re using hand phasers to heat the rocks. One phaser quit on us, three still operating. Any possibility of getting us back aboard before the skiing season opens down here?
Capt. Kirk: Why do you think the symptoms haven’t appeared on Mr. Spock?
Dr. McCoy: I don’t know. Probably the little bugs or whatever they are have no appetite for green blood.
Spock: Hmm. Being a red-blooded human obviously has its disadvantages.
Spock: We disposed of emotion, Doctor. Where there is no emotion, there is no motive for violence.
McCoy: What am l, a doctor or a moon shuttle conductor?
Dave Bailey: Raising my voice back there doesn’t mean I was scared or couldn’t do my job, it means I happen to have a human thing called an adrenalin gland.
Spock: That sounds most inconvenient, however. Have you considered having it removed?
Dr. McCoy: You’re in bed, holding a knife at your doctor’s throat. It would be most effective if you would cut the carotid artery, just under the left ear.
Mr. Spock: I fail to understand why it always gives you pleasure to see me proven wrong.
Kirk: An emotional Earth weakness of mine.
Kirk: Mr. Spock, you misunderstand us. We can be against him and admire him all at the same time.
McCoy: Spock, I don’t know too much about these little tribbles yet, but there is one thing that I have discovered.
Spock: What is that, Doctor?
McCoy: I like them… better than I like you.
Spock: [while holding a tribble] Most curious creature, Captain. Its trilling seems to have a tranquilizing effect on the human nervous system. Fortunately, of course, I am… immune to it’s effect…
[realizing what he is doing, he quickly puts the tribble down and excuses himself]
[Kirk is questioning Scotty about his reasons to start a bar fight with the Klingons]
Scotty: Well, Captain, er… the Klingons called you a… a tin-plated overbearing, swaggering dictator with delusions of godhood.
Capt. Kirk: Is that all?
Scott: No, sir. They also compared you with a Denebian slime devil.
Capt. Kirk: I see.
Scott: And then they said that you were a…
Capt. Kirk: I get the picture, Scotty.
Scott: Yes, sir.
Capt. Kirk: And after they said all this, that’s when you hit the Klingons.
Scott: No, sir.
Capt. Kirk: …No?
Scott: No, er, I didn’t. You told us to avoid trouble.
Capt. Kirk: Oh, yes.
Scott: And I didn’t see that it was worth fighting about. After all, we’re big enough to take a few insults. Aren’t we?
Capt. Kirk: What was it they said that started the fight?
Scott: They called the Enterprise a garbage scow! Sir.
Capt. Kirk: I see. And… that’s when you hit the Klingon?
Scott: Yes, sir!
Capt. Kirk: You hit the Klingons because they insulted the Enterprise, not because they…
Dr. McCoy: Do you know what you get if you feed a tribble too much?
Capt. Kirk: A fat tribble.
Capt. Kirk: Bones, what’ve you got for a headache?
Dr. McCoy: Let me guess, the Klingons. Baris.
Capt. Kirk: Both.
Capt. Kirk: My chicken sandwich and coffee. This is my chicken sandwich and coffee!
[Kirk is testing the tribbles’ reaction on several people, starting with the Klingons.]
Capt. Kirk: Why, you’re right, Mister Jones. They don’t like Klingons. [he moves on] But they do like Vulcans. Well, Mr. Spock, I didn’t know you had it in you.
Spock: Obviously, tribbles are very perceptive creatures, Captain.
Capt. Kirk: Obviously. [he moves on] Capt. Kirk: Mister Baris, they like you. Well, there’s no accounting for taste.
Capt. Kirk: Mister Scott. Where – are – the tribbles?
Scott: I used the transporter, Captain.
Capt. Kirk: You used the transporter?
Capt. Kirk: Well, where did you transport them? [no answer] Scott, you didn’t transport them into space, did you?
Scott: Captain Kirk! That’d be inhuman!
Capt. Kirk: Well, where are they?
Scott: I gave them a very good home, sir.
Capt. Kirk: WHERE?
Scott: I gave ’em to the Klingons, sir.
Capt. Kirk: You gave them to the Klingons?